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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Top 10 Cosplayers I Would Love to Bone in 2010 (Part 1)

It's another year to swing my johnny around so here's a brand new list of prospects who are qualified to be vaccinated by yours truly. Because I'm as busy as a Chinese factory worker, I'll split them into two parts and hope I can find time to include everyone my super awesome member (aka SAM, only bigger than the missile kind) is locked on to.

1. This girl deserves a trip to the sack with GT even for sheer effort alone. She's been at it for so long with various revealing outfits in her arsenal that I've been conditioned to believe she's aching to have the skin she shows so much of be lasciviously treated. I sure wouldn't mind doing her a favor.

2. First time she caught my eyes was when she sat in the corner of Robinson's Manila in a classy Japanese outfit with an umbrella like an innocent little girl we see all the time in those Asian DVDs. Though she's not always under a flattering light, she's more often than not cute enough to garner some love.

3. Don't tell me you didn't get a boner the first time you saw her in that sexy (not really, but she is) getup. Don't you dare fucking try, unless it's not a shlong down there; in which case, you probably discovered your lesbian tendencies. This girl here was born for lists like this, period!

4. It's not that I'm into cum dumpsters. I'm a very generous man, but sperm banks would never look to me for help. Some sad ladies are just trying so hard to project their womanliness that it's a crime not to oblige. If she wants it so much, I'd be glad to help.

5. I like a good challenge. The biggest and most intimidating of them all is perfect to test anyone's mettle and levels of testosterone. On top she'd crush you like the moon popping a zit on the nipple, down below you'll need enormous arm strength and stamina to keep those logs, err legs, out of the way. Leave your helicopters, wheelbarrows, and other fancy tricks out the window if you're not fond of injuries.

(Special Mention) If there's one cosplayer I wouldn't wanna bone, it's this one. Before I can imagine me and her doing the nasty, a legion of arnis practitioners are gonna swarm my blog like the Internet tough guys that they are. Scary. Besides, a nerd cat maid? Can cosplayers be more ridiculous?