Without a doubt, Christopher Nolan's latest opus is among the best films of our generation. The brilliant man behind the phenomenal revival of Batman in the silver screen puts together another impeccable masterpiece that is sure to leave viewers in a dreamy haze.
Inception is a movie I would pay five or even ten tickets for just to prolong the experience. Aside from its stellar production values and intellectually stimulating narrative, this roller-coaster ride of a summer sci-fi blockbuster hit instilled in me a very important message - that regret is one nasty sonnovabitch.
Since the case of the neurotic nymphomaniac was "closed", I tried to let go of all the luggage. Yet everything comes back to haunt me time and again. Even when I think I am finally free from remorse, someone or something makes that subtle yet impressionable nudge which throws me back into the pit of endless hanging questions and regrets. There are many triggers for this, but the worst would have to be the face-to-face encounters.
As if fate is toying with me, as if I am being told that I'm still in the game, I see nymph or the other players in this overdue tirade more often that I could wish for. They're like a recurring bad dream. I wish there was an explanation for why I see them around nearly everyday. Before the whole nympho business, I'm sure I never saw them in the two years that I could have. I may be bad with names, but I can remember people's faces. None of theirs were in my memory prior to the prelude of this drama.
For me, this means constant revival of an issue that should have already faded into obscurity. Most disturbing was when I came across the fat boy ex-boyfriend just last week somewhat sobbing and saying he was in an awful condition. According to my valuable sources, this is most likely because he's trying to get back together with nymph but failing.It's no longer of my concern, and I'm not even sure my source is on the money, yet it troubled me. It made sense. Perhaps he still wants to take back what he has heavily invested on (from last I heard, it goes way back to around 5 years ago) like he previously told me. I guess I shouldn't really care, but it bothered me. A lot. The idea of an old problem still brewing despite nymph's protests saying she's happy right now lingered in my head.
For the protagonist in Inception, the past stabbing at old wounds was strictly a daily affair. No single day ever passes without him struggling against his inner demon, which in this case is the bitter memory of his wife engorged in regret. In the deeper layers of his subconscious was the "projection" of her, clawing at him from inside out.
He was absorbed by thoughts of her, which eventually proved to be disastrous for him and people around him. Because he could not let go, he dwelled in the past unable to move forward.
He knew there was no turning back. It is impossible to correct past mistakes. In our reality, the dead never comes back to life. "What ifs" and "what could have beens" will never amount to anything. However, he held onto her memory shackled to him by regret.Only after a long struggle and amidst desperation that he was able to fight such proverbial cancer with a strong resolve. Even then, his subconscious rejected his own actions and stabbed him to near death.
I thought, perhaps there is no breaking free from regret when it has been embedded so thoroughly into your heart and soul. To retort with utmost ardor is futile when, beyond all reason, you have accepted that you committed mistakes you shouldn't have. What to do, then?
There is acceptance. There is a route where you can walk hand in hand with your regret, admit your wrongs and see that path not as branching off from the "what ifs" and "what could have beens", but the only real continuation. That whatever crime has been done, there is no chance for trial and no room for justice. It happens, and we don't owe anyone. Not anymore, if time for settlement has passed and reconciliation is a distant concept.
I'm leaving this here for reference and so that everyone who reads this can hold me accountable. Next time I see nymph or her fat boy ex-boyfriend or anyone who reminds me what I should already forget and I fail to reign in the usual outburst of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, I will look back, smack myself in the head and repeat this process until I'm neurotic nymph-free.
